Epiphany

I do not have a strong ability to understand poetry. Most of the time poetry makes me feel as though my brain is going to implode on itself erasing my mind from my body. When I sit down to read poetry I do so with immense determination. I gather all of the powers of my mind, my logic, intelligence, memory, and problem solving skills. With weapons in my mind (haha) I attempt to decipher the debacle in front of me. As I gather my force of will I charge and I am left sprawled on the floor hoping I don't have a concussion. This may seem slightly dramatic to some people, but these are my true feelings about poetry. Now I am sure anybody could imagine the sense of despair I had when I learned that I needed to read an entire book of poetry, a whole one hundred and thirty-six pages. I felt defeated before I even started.
After I read "City Eclogue" by Ed Roberson I was kind of impressed with the compilation of poems Roberson presented. I honestly did not understand much of the meaning behind the words Roberson used, but I realized instead that I did feel the emotion in the poetry. And that is my profound epiphany. I realized that maybe you don't have to understand everything, that perhaps some things were made to simply be enjoyed. I feel like I understand Roberson's pain and struggle not because he gave me a word for word detailed schedule of his life, but because he used poetry to display his emotions. He displayed his emotions through the use of detail and through the way he styled his poems.
One of my favorite poems in the book is called "14"(p. 75) and I love it because of the intense imagery that is used. It is hard to determine what Roberson is actually talking about, but there is an overwhelming sense of grotesqueness that I get as I read. Roberson writes, "there   if that is a baby's nipple then this red  tear to pieces of brick." It as almost as if the author is implying that the baby is being teared to shreds by the brick. The image is horrid actually and inspires a painful feeling. Roberson also talks of, "the buried placenta,"and "a delivery stillborn." The delivery of a stillborn child is possibly one of the most painful things a woman could experience. The image of a buried placenta makes me feel as though the child was doomed to death from the beginning. Roberson ends the poem with the line, "born as it's thrown away." It reminds me of abortion for some reason. There is a huge sense of loss in this poem and everything feels as though it is wasted. I feel the emotions in this poem whether or not I understand exactly what he is talking about.
One of my favorite lines of poetry by Roberson is from the poem "Psalm" (p. 112). Roberson writes, "I was pounding on the streets as on a table    buildings jumped and lives fell over and shattered." I love this because I can see he is in an uproar. His rage fills the streets and it is a giant that reeks havoc on the people and the buildings. It is interesting how he says, "lives fell over and shattered", because it points to the fragile state of humanity. Roberson feels, perhaps, that something as simple as his rage could shatter and break lives. I just love the imagery in those lines.
Roberson wrote a poem called "Sit in What City We're In" and in this poem I love his description of mirrors. I love it because I can read it and I can almost see the mirrors physically in front of me. Throughout the poem there is a deeper meaning, but I just love the simple description. He writes, "felt sovereign self locked together in the mirror's march from deep caves of long alike." I think the imagery of the caves is interesting and when I imagine looking into two mirrors at once I see the caves too. Later Roberson says, "a street cobbled of the heads." This image is interesting too. He uses the imagery of cobblestones to give his audience a picture of infinity.
Overall, I ended up enjoying Roberson's poems. His themes throughout the novel seem to be anger and suffering. Sometimes his mood shifts and he is a little more light, but mostly he wants to scream his rage.